Somebody has to say it

Animals, particularly those that might be found around the home, like dogs and cats, never seem to have to wipe their butts. I know that's a pretty disgusting thought, but I wonder why this is. (I also draw your attention to the oxymoron: "pretty disgusting," but I digress.) But we humans would be banished if we ignored this utterly essential aspect of personal hygiene. You know what I think? It's because we are too fat. If we were as thin and muscular as God or evolution had intended, we'd never have to worry about it. Think about it.