First Installment: Reasons for Staying Out of Prison

Just a few reasons for joining humanity, playing by the rules, (and staying out of prison). Admittedly, these are a tad sophomoric and maybe materialistic, and they're mostly food and drink,k and one could likely receive some version of these in an actual prison, but this is only my first:

• Single malt scotch
• martinis
• XO Cognac
• gruyère
• French wine
• freshly ground coffee
• hot tubs (100F in winter; 103F summer)
• martinis
• Guiness drought
• grilled salmon with raspberry salsa and steamed French long beans
• Gibson guitars
• onions
• green onions
• blue cheese
• fillet mignon
• gin
• tequila
• limes
• martinis
• chocolate
• The Cure