Eeww that smell

I want to talk about my cigars.

I more or less try to smoke them at times when my girlfriend is unlikely to notice, and in such a way as to conceal my habit against her eventual discovery. Impossible. They make me stink to high heaven, and nothing short of a gasoline-filled hot tub is capable of washing that foul stench away. What is it about cigar smoke that makes it so difficult to get rid of?

After smoking one, I tend to wash my hands many, many times. Yet, like the taste of puke after vomiting, the odor remains. It is the Energizer Bunny of stench, and apparently current soaps are as weak as the glue on a sticky note. I even use Dial Anti-bacterial soap, but to no avail. I go into the men's room and wash my face, forehead, neck, ears, and the top of my head. I literally take a sponge bath, and after drying, I take the wad of wet towels and go over my shirt collar, sleeves, breast. Nope. An hour later, I still stink. No matter the effort, somebody will still walk in with, "You had a cigar, M, didn't you?" What do I have to do, go to a car wash? There ought to be a Manwash-N-Decontamination Walk-Thru somewhere.

Can't they make a good-quality, cheap cigar that smells good after you smoke it?