cigars in the rain

I like to walk, even in the rain. But I also like a good cheap cigar, in the rain, too, no less. But there is no smoking in or near buildings where I'm at, and those doo-gooders must have removed every possible shelter in this city just to save me from myself.

And how come whenever I duck under a tree I seem to get just as wet as without the tree? It's because the regular droplets are merely delayed, not filtered out as I often hope; no, they're saved up and stored within the tree's leaves until the water builds up into what I will now term as drooples. At regular intervals, mostly during a puff, they drop their load right down on me, sure as a pigeon shits its load all over the hood of my 1970 Datsun.

Here's a little piece of advice: Don't do this in a city park where young children normally play, even if it's raining and no kids are there. People with their umbrellas look at you real funny-like. Idiots.

pride and humility

A boastful person who makes a single self-deprecating comment will appear far more humble than a humble person. If the humble person makes a prideful statement, he or she will appear to be more of a jerk than the boastful person, even though the boastful person is that way all the time.

That Damn Bus

...that just delayed me for more than 25 seconds? Revenge comes best when it's raining. Those handicapped people who take forever to get off the bus? I like to speed by and splash them if I can with any puddle that happens to be there.

RV hell

"RV"s are from hell.

The slower they go, the more they're likely to travel in packs, too. Clumps. Why is that? Are these just filthy-rich families that drive multiple "RV"s? Or do they just have some sort of a cling to one another? They are the trans fats of America's road system. I've personally witnessed them delay for over an hour a number of vehicles that would equal the entire 5 o'clock traffic of a small city.

54 in a 65 for a frikken hour. Traveling together so they're difficult to pass when short opportunities arise.

Another straight section of road way. Oops, time to slow down just a little bit more.

Those fuckers.

And when a passing zone nears, your hopes are raised, yet that's when you see the oncoming traffic. And that's when the RV slows even further. They make you suffer.

I was even following a full-sized tour bus on the highway the other day. I could hardly keep up with it. The only time it slowed down was when it got behind an RV.

Same thing with tractor/trailer trucks.

I'll get you back, you bastards. I'm going to buy an RV and then I'm going to drive it as slow as possible for as long as possible. I'm going to pass you idiots then slow down right in front of you so you'll be stuck behind me. I'll force you to clump together with me. I'm going to make your life miserable. You wait and see. I'll teach you.