My GF never really used the word fuck well, and for quite a while I've scolded her to not use it, especially in front of other people. Now don't get me wrong, I'm no fuckin' prude or anything like that. I use the word all the time; too much, in fact.
It's interesting how one gets started using the F-Bomb. Smart people will correct me here, but I think it's basically a means to show people how much courage you have, and one picks it up from people one hangs out with. But I digress.
I made friends with a dude who moved here several years ago, and we went out drinking together quite a bit. He used the word a lot. It was crazy. I'd ask him, "Hey, wanna go grab a few pops after work?" and he'd reply something like, "Well, fuckin', my wife has to pick up the kid and we fuckin' only have the one car today, and, well, fuckin'... let me see. I'll call her. We'll fuckin' see already."
Well, he moved to another city, that fucker, and now I'm left with the habit of saying (and typing) that word a lot.
My GF likes to say it, too, but only when she's really pissed or emotional about something (mostly shit at work). I've told her for a long time that it's just not becoming of her. It just doesn't sound right. Maybe she should've taken lessons from my friend, I don't know. So yesterday in the car she used it again, and I told her I've had enough of our vulgarity: From now on, it's a buck each for each of us. Say it and pay. I'll get us both to STOP saying that ugly word.
Not two minutes went by when some asshole cut me off near an intersection and I exclaimed the word. Fuck! There goes $1. "Pay up, turkey." I pulled out my wallet and handed her a buck.
Two miles further down the road, some jerk did something else that pissed me off, and I said it again. There goes another $1.
Before we'd gotten home, I pulled out four or five one-dollar bills and laid them out on the dash. After the third $1 I had to give her, I'd hoped that no off-duty cop was witnessing these transactions, else he might think we were dealing in drugs or something. Good Lord.
This morning on the way in? Yep, $1 down. She's enjoying this, I can tell by her giggles. I'll get her, though. All I have to do is drive really fast, and I can get her to say that word again. All I want is for her to start saying the word again. Women.
7 comments:
You should have bet sexual favors instead of dollars! What's wrong with you?
F-bombs cost a buck. I'd better delete my blog at once!
So, what does "cunt" go for? I imagine that'll cost you a 5-spot.
This is why I switched to "Fook". Cuz I'm classy like that.
You are very classy, my dear Franki, but I'm afraid that word would still cost me. The deal was the F-Bomb, or any word used in its place, like "frikken" or your example. Rats.
oh yeh, and as for prepon's idea to bet sexual favours, that could never work.
Imagine it: "Fuck"
"oh fuck it, now I've gotta fuck you for saying fuck"
"oh shit I said it again, that's another fuck I owe, fuck it"
This could go on for ever, and what if you let a "fuck" slip while you're in the act (you know, like a moaned "fuuuuuck", or a "fuck you're hot baby", or "i like fucking you").
You'd never pay your bet losses off.
Not sure why I ever starting saying fuck. But, even as a teenager, my favorite saying was "fuck-off".
As I've ranted on my blog, I don't believe there are any "bad" words. Other words used in place of so-called bad words are used in the same vain, so what the fuck? What difference does it make what the word sounds like or looks like on paper?
But, I will admit hearing my wife say fuck sometimes, other than in the bedroom, just doesn't sound right.
For sure though, I could never afford a buck for every fuck I utter.
As of this morning, I owe her $3. Twice last night at the restaurant, once in the car. (That's odd.) Then she said it, then I said it again. This needs to end soon.
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