Dick's Cam
I've realized that it's not a good idea to attach a web cam to my penis. Firstly, and most importantly, my dick would get cold -- it being winter and all. Secondly, my viewers would probably get dizzy with it waving around like that as I walk. Taking into account exactly how it is attached, of course, if it is mounted toward the end, and considering my length, well... never mind. (Isn't blogging cool? You say what-ever-the-fuck-you-want!)
Happy New Year
Happy New Year! I mean it. Thanks for looking around here. By the way, we took down our Christmas ("CHRISTMAS!") Tree yesterday evening. Know what? It was the most relaxing time of the entire Season. No rushing, no driving, no spending, no commitments, no expectations, no hassles, no people, not even a tangled string of Christmas Tree Lights. Just my lady and me, thank you very much. Yeah, we cooperated. We were a team. We spend four hours going through and boxing up our collection; those cool little objects that are only used once per year yet somehow gain in value as the years fling by. She likes to pack them all in their original containers, or tissue paper as needed. We talked about how we acquired each one. Who gave us that one, this one. Which ones we don't like because they weigh as much as a stapler or that they're just stupid anyway. Not really. Even the stupid ones are cool. We had a bottle of red wine. We listed to the adult contemporary radio at a low volume. I got out of my post-Christmas-depression. Christmas was Alive again for me, and I think I can make it until Christmas this year. We had a good time together, and I didn't even have to cuss anyone out. Dig that.
PETA
PETA in the news: They want this alleged cannibal to eat only non-meat products in jail awaiting trial because, apparently most importantly, they want those poor critters to avoid having a violent death, and, secondly, eating meat will cause him to want to eat other people besides his girlfriend. I want to mail PETA the bones from my chicken and beef so it can at least get a proper burial. Idiots.
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Speeding has to be done like farting: only within a crowd, otherwise, you'll get caught.
Drug Commercials (again)
That Enbrel commercial (for the treatment of psoriasis) is the scariest drug commercial I've ever seen. If I am not mistaken, among all the really rotten-sounding side effects, the commercial actually suggests that you may die if you take it ("sometimes fatal events")! Good Grief! My question: If they're trying to sell the stuff and in the same breath try to scare me away from it, don't those two statements cancel each other out and thus not only render the commercial useless but a complete waste of my two minutes? Thought so.
Speaking of those drug commercials, for once I'd like to see a drug commercial where you can actually see the guy's face when he tells you, "If you experience an erection for more than four hours, seek medical attention immediately."
3 comments:
Would the Dick Cam be ribbed for her pleasure?
People Eating Tasty Animals
You gotta kill it before you can grill it- Ted Nugent
Speeding and farting: Good one!
I agree about the drug commercials. I mean is anal leakage better than any other ailment that we may be taking medication for? Not to mention, as you did, the "fatal events". WTF?
And if I had an erection for 4 hours, I don't think my wife would let me near a phone to call a doctor. I mean, 4 minutes vs. 4 hours? Pass the KY, baby.
You don't post often, IBtW. But when you do, you nail it!
I really liked your vignette about taking down the tree.
Fatal events? Now that's a euphemism.
Yeah, cams are good. I've thought about putting one on my motorbike, but my wife would have heart attack if she saw what I do, because I, like you, agree speeding in a crowd is better, they can't pick on you as easily.
Also, on the bike, when people sit in the overtaking lane, doing the same speed as other traffic, I can split them, or round 'em up in the emergency lane.
This is great fun, and makes me feel a lot better, but when there's no cars around, I don't get the urge to speed as much.
I justify my speeding in my own head by telling myself I am getting away from those fuckwits in cars who are trying to kill me.
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