Last night me and my girlfriend went out to have a steak. What a nice surprise for the waitperson (a cute young thing) to pop over to our table, not one minute after we sat down, with two ice cold Miller Lites in hand, "It's Miller Lite, right?" she offers.
"Wow, how did you know? You just must sell a lot of Miller Lite, right?" I asked.
"No, I remember you both. The last time you were here you had filets, medium, right?"
Sure thing, but the last time we were there was well over a month ago, and this place is a busy one; one that we don't really frequent (unless you consider several times per year as frequenting) or consider as our home restaurant.
Our dinner was excellent, steaks cooked precisely to order. Salads were crisp and yummy. Drinks were cold. Her service was great, too. She didn't interrupt and she didn't ignore, either. What more could you ask for? Oh, and she was cute. So cute, in fact, that I asked my girlfriend if she can be on the "approved crush" list. Yes, of course, said she.
"But," she continued. "Be warned, M, that she is just flirting with you. She has to in order to receive good tips. She probably remembered that you tipped her well the last time."
"You mean her being friendly to me isn't really genuine? This is a hustle?"
"Yah, sort'a. She's probably nice and all, but she's working, you know, and she'll be just as nice to you as the next schlep who walks in."
Oh, well, in that case...I paid the bill, left her only about a 10% tip, and we left. Fuckin' wench.
No Excuses
Why do you say "Excuse me" when you're trying to walk through a crowd of idiots who chose to stand in the middle of everything, blocking your passage, precisely at the highest-traffic time? That seems dumb to me. We should get into the habit of exclaiming, "Please move, thank you!" It's not your fault that they're in the way. Why take the blame by asking to be excused? The phrase "Beep beep fuckin' BEEP!" ought to be firmly placed within our lexicon soon. I'm going to start an ad campaign for it.
I'm working on the "Hello?" that one says/asks upon answering a telephone. Seems to not make perfect sense to me any longer, but I don't know why yet.
6 comments:
I foresee a three-way coming your way sir, involving your GF and a waitress!
Good point on "excuse me."
here via bug's since you're only there for selfish promotion.
awwh, you shoulda left the gal a good tip. it's how i separate the men from the boys ;0)
I always loved to hear my Grampa answer the phone.
"yep?"
Kinda friendly, monosyllabic, non committal. It's been alot of years, but I think he may have ended the conversations with the same word.
"yep."
In fact, I'm not sure I ever heard him speak any other words over the telephone.
Man of few words, my gramps.
Dan, that is great! I love it. I can just imagine him saying that, kind of slowly but firmly. Cool.
"Selfish promotion via LBB's site." You know what I say? You're fuckin'a right, lady, now send me your cash. I'm working on a paypal icon "Pay Me!" just for you.
I am forever reminded by my children what doesnt make sense in our language, expressions and things, when they question them and I dont have an answer that makes sense.
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