Monday, February 2, 2009

Hand Lotion and Bacon-flavored Panties

Why is it that the best moisturizing hand lotions are always in somebody else's bathroom and never in my own or on store shelves? I never seem to have good stuff. Only those whom I visit. Next time I go to a party, I'm taking a plastic baggie with me and I'm going to spurt out about half their hand lotion to keep with me.

Ok, enough with all the bacon-flavored things. I've had enough. You name it, it's out there. Bacon-flavored lip balm. Bacon-flavored mayo. Bacon-flavored chocolate. What's next, bacon-scented women's panties? Hmm...

I revere the Peanuts cartoon strip so much that I consider it blasphemy to read another strip first.

I get football, mostly. What I don't get is why you see about fourteen guys on top of each other after a fumble, like a big, feisty, manly ball on the field. That is strange. Why would the last few guys pile on top? Somebody obviously has possession of the ball down there, somewhere, don't they? I'd hate to be the ball, and I'd hate to be the man on the very bottom. I just don't get that.

Me and my GF are having a fight. They say that one way to stimulate the current low economy is to go out and buy. She's irritated with me because I want to go out and buy a Jag or a really cool dSLR camera with a long telephoto lens. WTF?

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