Sunday, April 27, 2008

My Girlfriend's Panties, Cream, and Martinis

Today being Sunday I did my once per monthly load of laundry just like the good boy that my girlfriend thinks I am. While I was folding my whites - and you should see how flat I fold my t-shirts and Kirkland Signature brand briefs - I of course rolled up my girlfriend's panties in the way that she likes (see this post) . I rolled up a tanish-colored pair, one of her newer ones I think, so tight that it resembled a cigar. "Honey, do you have a light?" No good, she didn't go for it.

I always ask the wait person when I order a martini, "Um, one olive only. Just one, please." I can't stand olives, especially the green yucky kind. I wish they'd invent a real martini that doesn't have to have olives. Yeeeech. Yah? Stop right there. I know what you're going to say. I do enjoy a martini with a (lemon) twist, too. Well, my most sweet babe of a GF just handed me a martini with... get this... a twist of orange peel. Wow do I love this woman. And this is one righteous mo-fo'ing martini.

I started using face cream. OK, wait, shut up for a minute. I'm serious. After shaving and drying off every a.m. my face is red and flaky and dry and it's pissed me off for years. I said fuck this and asked my GF if I can have a spurt of her stuff. Wow, it's French, bottom of the tube (she's almost out) and I smeared it on with reckless abandon and... it works. My face felt great, young, smooth, moist (just like her cute behind) and all day long. OK, enough of that...

3 comments:

Dan O. said...

When I first started shaving my babyface, I used Mennen's After Shave Lotion. It was a creamy moisturizing lotion that also stopped the burning sensation of razor-burn. And it didn't smell like a woman's face cream.

Not sure if it's still around. Back then it came in a light green, plastic squeezable container.

Dan O. said...

I got curious and found that Mennen's lotion here.

Scroll down on that page and it's called 'Afta'.

Call me Maniac said...

thanks for the link! I checked it out. For a long time i used the Afta "pre" electric stuff which worked pretty well. never tried the lotion. I will!