Safe Drivers

I hate it when the jerk in front of me slows down just to show me how safe a driver he is. He's not being safe. He's being an asshole. It happens all the time. When the person ahead of me is going 5 MPH slower than the speed limit (the limit which is already way too slow) and I tail gate them just a little bit to try to get them to speed up for me, they fuckin' slow down. Yeah, buddy, I see you're a safe driver, yeah yeah. You can be safe, but I'm bored out of my skull. Please, just pull your safe fat ass over and let me get past you, you jerk.

Oops, gotta go. I'm texting this and somebody is following too close. I need to put both hands back on the wheel and slow down by 5MPH.